Zeh Beginning

I am finally here, in front of this white page.

I have been planning to open a blog for months, and I have actually thought about it every time I went running. Which is often, by the way. 

Last week, I went for this run and I had a sort of breakthrough. Before, I was always thinking about how cool it would be to have a blog, again, and update potential readers (we will see if there will be any) on the amazing life learnings of my 22 years on Earth. Then, the problem was that I actually enjoyed so much thinking already about all the nice content I could write about, that I would play the whole thing in my head. And I would not do it. It was peculiar, how my mind was already somehow rewarded, by an imaginary product.

This vicious cycle went on for a while, for a few months actually. However, on this particular run, I went one step further. I realized how much my reward should not come from the product, but rather from the making process. Maybe this is not true one hundred percent, but it got me to sit in front of the computer and open this page. So fine by me.

One more story to explain where all this thinking about writing is coming from. As I kid, I wanted to be a writer. Really, while my first grade best friends were dreaming about working with pets or becoming hairdressers or actors, I fell in love with the local library. And I also wrote a lot, even the first chapter of a book which would be now cringy to even think about. I would sit in my room, with close shades and only my desk light on, close the door and be in isolation, because that is how "real" writers do it. Or at least, that is what I thought.

It might have been that I was focusing so much on being a writer and way less on what good writing is and enjoying the actual work. Similarly to running, it takes constant effort to write a whole book. And the daily effort should be more rewarding than this mental image I had of greatly written-in-one-month book.

So this blog is to my seven years old self, to my runner self and the more selves I will maybe discover on the way.

Ten minutes every once in a while, to share random thoughts.

And by the way, zehn means ten in German, but it does also sound like zen. And this writing work sounds like it could work as meditation maybe.

Yes, I enjoy this stuff.

Cool.

Alice from Berlin